By Alan Goldsher
"When Maria is kicked out of the zombie-infested Abbey the place she's been
residing for the prior 612 years, she's pressured to maintain the family
von Trapp, a rowdy extended family short of a few critical discipline...or
vampirification. After Maria turns the von Trapp young children into children
of the evening and marries the von Trapp patriarch, the family members seems
destined for everlasting (really, relatively everlasting) bliss. however the Nazi
Undeath Squads are at the march, purpose on ridding Europe of
bloodsuckers. And Maria should do every thing in her strength --
supernatural or another way -- to save lots of her vampire brood."
"Goldsher (Paul Is Undead) has devised the suitable e-book for readers who think that The Sound of song wanted extra caustic vomit, lesbian vampire intercourse, Nazi Undeath Squads, the ghost of John Coltrane, and copious lashings of gross-out humor."
About the Author
Alan Goldsher is the writer of eleven books, together with that acclaimed Beatles/horror/comedy mashup Paul Is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion. As a ghostwriter, he has collaborated with a number of celebrities and public figures. for additional info, please stopover at AlanGoldsher.com."
Read or Download My Favorite Fangs: The Story of the Von Trapp Family Vampires PDF
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Extra info for My Favorite Fangs: The Story of the Von Trapp Family Vampires
Throngversation – A conversation in a loud, crowded bar. At any given bar, the douchecibel levels are so friggin high that it’s impossible to hear yourself talk, much less the person you’re screaming into the ear of—but that’s a good thing. ” YOU: “Uh . . ” a lot, like Lil Jon. As annoying 48 BA R TICUL ATION as this is, you know that if “Welcome to the Jungle” weren’t turned up to eleven, you’d have to carry on normal conversation with the girl—which might lead to tense revelations that, for instance, you don’t share political views, or for that matter that you don’t really have political views or don’t know the name of the current president.
It’s one thing when someone gets a little beeritated, but it’s another thing entirely when they become bingefuriated. ” MORE TIPS ON QUELLING A BARGUMENT: 1. Swignore the problem. Just shut up and drink. 2. Extend the olive branch. Buy him a martini to remind him 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. you’re his bro. Just remember to cheers him or there’ll be a bargument about what a rude bastard you are. Enter into a chugreement. Agree to chug your next drinks. By the time you reach the bottom of them he’ll be ginoculated and will forget what the hell you were barguing about.
Looting a liquor store Anarchy, chaos—even better than a mosh pit. Getting tased and set upon by snarling German Shepherds. Even worse, your mom seeing you on the news. Going to some chick’s house and splitting a bottle of her wine Corkscrewing her. Grape juice makes for lame drinking stories. ” Doing a “grave crawl” and digging up bottles that were buried with your guydols GG Allin, Frank Sinatra, etc. Fixing yourself a “Corpse Reviver No. 2” cocktail with actual corpses nearby. Gas costs; bottles might require extensive disinfection.
My Favorite Fangs: The Story of the Von Trapp Family Vampires by Alan Goldsher